"Oh hey, Rein, way to fucking fail at making timely posts and keep me impatiently waiting to read your blog"...said no one ever.
I kid. I'm sure there's like...five of you who religiously read this, if not for the words of wisdom, then for the constant waves of snark and no-nonsense that I embody. And I do sincerly apologize for not making a post at all last week, so let me make it up to you by writing the first of what will be, I'm sure, SEVERAL of my rants against the female gender: Don't Be That Girl.
DBTG is going to be a new series of themed posts I write when I feel like spicing up this blog and detracting from the normal Model Monday and Art Wednesday routine. As a female, I quite naturally have a lot of problems with other females (hence why 93% of my friends are men), and I'd like to take a moment to point out those characteristics some women embody that drive the rest of our gender absolutely bat-shit crazy.
**Disclaimer** These posts are not, and never will be, directed at specific women I know personally, nor will any "scenarios" be a direct representation of someone I know personally or be taken from conversations I had in real life. I might be snarky, but I'm not a bully. If by chance you happen to take offense to these posts, it's probably because you actually embody the characteristics I'm ranting about and are getting a harsh dose of Rein Razer honesty. So keep that in mind before you go out for my blood. Okay? Okay.
Now, here we go! On to my first DBTG rant: The Excuse Maker.
The Excuse Maker (EM) is one of my least favorite people, gender aside. No matter what route could be taken, she always seems to have several excuses as to why she can do nothing to improve her situation. She might constantly appear as helpless, whiny, and maybe slightly attention-seeking.
I'm going to present to you a dialouge that might occur between you and an EM. Your setting: the mall.
You: Oh hey! I just found this really cute dress!
EM: That is cute. I bet it would look good on you.
You go and try said dress on and are examining your hot-ass self in the mirror.
EM: God, I wish I could fit into cute clothes like that, but I'm too insert random dislike about physical appearance here
You: Well, you could always try it on just to see. You never know!
EM: No, they probably don't have my size anyway.
You: You should go check to be sure.
EM: I don't know. I probably won't fit into it anyway because I'm (we'll go with the standard) fat. (anyone shop with someone like this, by the way? Annoying as hell.)
You: Oh...you know, if you're really worried about you're weight, you should try dieting.
EM: Dieting is too hard to stick to for me. I'm a picky eater as is.
You: Well how about exercise?
EM: Maybe...I never have time though.
You: You should make time. Even just ten minutes a day helps!
EM: It's just too hard for me to lose weight.
Okay, by this point you're probably rolling your eyes and thinking of someone you know. Here's another good scenario, this one is set in the workplace (I'll use a retail store, since I work in the retail biz):
You: Hey, did you get the project done last night?
EM: Well, I was going to, but we got too busy and I didn't have time. We had too many customers.
You: You could've worked on the project between customers, you know.
EM: Yeah, maybe, but I was too busy folding clothes customers messed up.
You: Then why didn't you just finish it up when the store closed?
EM: I didn't want to stay too late, I had stuff to do at home after work.
Seriously. We all know someone like this. Am I right? You know I am.
I should probably add that there are times when excuses are needed or can be given. That's not a problem. But a lady who is constantly giving a reason (and most of said reasons are pathetic) as to why she can't accomplish something or change something she doesn't like is an issue. No one wants to be the girl who always has an excuse. Don't be that girl!
So now that we've identified behaviors of the EM, how can we fix these behaviors, or better yet, understand why these behaviors occur in the first place? Most people (women OR men), become chronic EMs because of fear and insecurity. The EM may feel unconfident in her ability to change, and, in some cases, may fear the change itself. This can be why many EMs come across as having low self-esteem as well.
You can't be the good friend who fixes an EM. Only the EM can fix herself, and that's only if she really wants to put the time and energy into it. The best advice I can give to anyone who suffers from chronic excuse-making is to simply QUIT MAKING EXCUSES. Catch yourself doing the behavior, and stop it. Keep at it until you can catch yourself before the behavior even occurs.
Discussion question: Do you know anyone who falls into the category of the EM? Do you consider yourself to be an EM? If so, how do you plan to change or do you plan on changing at all?
See you lovers next week!
-Rein
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